Stay
by kogapumas
Summary: I hated this. I hated how much I loved it. I hated how much he didn't care. Most of all, I hated how I never could say no.


I gasped as my back hit the wall, his mouth making a fiery trail down my neck. Gasps spilled from my mouth as one hand gripped my hip and the other palmed my breast through my bikini top, torturing my nipple with light caresses, sending pleasure throughout my body.

I hated that he did this to me. He used me in the most sensual way and I let him. I always tried to say no, but he would kiss me and sweep away any protest. He knew I loved him. How could he not. I made it obvious to him and he used me. His hand swept around to the tie of my top, yanking it off, his mouth immediately latching on to my freed breasts. My hands tangled in his long blonde hair as a sob erupted from my throat, half from pleasure and half from misery.

I can never say no to Laxus. Not when we were children, not now. I would always let him touch me where no other man has, despite feeling dirty and used the morning after. And he never stayed. He would have sex with me, pull on his clothes, and walk out like nothing happened, leaving me to wallow in self-disgust and pity.

His hand crept slowly towards the hem of my pants, teasing me slowly with the promise of pleasure only he could give me. It's not like I hadn't tried to date other men. But they would try to kiss me and all I could think about is how Laxus provided much more heat and passion then them. They would try to sleep with me and all I would feel is disgust. I would go home, alone, to pine after a man who cared nothing for me.

I gasped as his fingers finally found my sweet spot, rubbing teasingly as he bit down on my nipple. My back arched off the wall of my one bedroom apartment, my hands falling to his shoulders and my nails dug into the fabric of his shirt. This had all started about a year ago on my birthday. Laxus had been in town and hadn't gotten me a present. I guess he felt bad for me, taking mercy on the poor girl who loved a man who didn't care. He took my virginity that night, walking away with 'Happy Birthday', like him using me was some spectacular gift. I'd even been happy at first, thinking we were together, a couple, finally, but the look he gave me in the guild the next told me all I needed to know.

That's when my drinking really picked up. And the more I drank, the easier I gave in to him and his wandering hands that left heat and self-pity. I watched him almost numbly as he stripped my pants off, my shoes having been removed when I had gotten home. I had only gotten an apartment so when he came here, when he made me scream and forget everything but his name, no one else would know, no one else would see how pathetic I was.

He threw me on my bed and I watched breathless as he stripped off his clothes. If there was anything more beautiful than Laxus, it was a naked Laxus. I couldn't help but stare as all his muscles rippled as he climbed over me, his hands caressing over my legs up to my hips. I stopped breathing all together when his impressive manhood slid against my sex. When he slid home, my back arched off the bed, an unintelligent sound escaping my mouth.

The worst part of everything was when he was inside of me, nothing else mattered. Not how pathetic I am, not how he didn't love me, not how he used me. Just him, his sweat-slick body sliding against mine, our bodies straining towards the inevitable release. If there was one thing Laxus did right, it was sex. He made sure I was never left behind, made sure my body was mindless with pleasure, withering against his in a way I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. And the one little victory I had was when he made me come, when my body shut down all responses except receiving such intense pleasure, I bit my lips to make sure his name never spilt from them.

We lay there, breathing hard, his sweaty, hot body covering mine like a heavy blanket. And I held still, waiting. In a few minutes he would roll off me, picking up his clothes. And I would always watch him from where I lay, knowing my eyes were begging him to stay, and my eyes would fill with tears as he would walk out of my apartment, never once turning back to look at me.

* * *

I could only stare at Laxus's bandaged body as he sulked, drinking some sake. Natsu had beaten him badly, and he deserved it. He was an idiot for hurting the guild, for trying to take over the guild. And I could only stare in horror as he was kicked out of fairy tail. And how pathetic of me to only be able to think about never seeing his face again. To never have him dominate my body. To command my body. I barely remember that night. But I do remember getting drunk and crying myself to sleep, especially sad that he hadn't come by one last time.

* * *

I was in too much shock about the entire events that had happened to really be excited that I was seeing Laxus in what felt like forever. He looked just as ridiculously handsome as ever, but I was even happier that Gildarts was here to save us too. And instead of giving in to the yearning I had to once again run my fingers through his blonde hair, I did what I had wanted to do since joining fairy tail, tell Gildarts he was my father. And I made sure to stubbornly ignore the throbbing in my pathetic heart that said I should go say something to Laxus. But I wouldn't. Not this time. I was stronger than this. I would no longer let this man control me. Or that's what I told myself.

* * *

I walked up the stairs easily despite the amount of alcohol I had consumed. Seven years had gone by unnoticed to the group of us that had been on Tenrou Island. Seven years. Seven years I could have used to get stronger. Both physically and mentally. To harden my heart against the lightning mage who hadn't said a word to me since our return to fairy tail. I felt my heart give another painful lurch as I unlocked my hotel room, seeing as my apartment was no longer my own, for obvious reasons. As I walked in and flicked on the lights, I barely even noticed the blonde mage sitting in a corner of my room. At least not until he stood up. I whirled around, my heart giving a wild lurch and my hand flying defensively towards my cards.

"It's just me," he said, his voice that deep purr that had me breathless.

"Laxus. What are you doing here?" I asked, wishing my voice would sound a bit more demanding than breathless. He didn't answer but walked up to me and kissed me as my lips formed around the word no. I couldn't do this, not anymore. I tried to shove at him but my traitor body let my hands sit limply on his hard chest. I tried to deny him entrance, but this kiss felt different. Usually he was rough and demanding, but this was softer…sweeter. This was the kind of kiss I yearned for the last time we had been together. To get such a kiss now, when I had given up on him, on us…. It was heartbreaking. I could feel my heart shatter, and tears rose to my eyes. In that moment of weakness, I had no choice to open up to a kiss that was so sweet it made my knees weak. As he swept me away into an all new word of feeling, I felt the tears escape my eyes and slid down my cheeks. I guess he felt them too as he pulled away, one hand coming up to cup my cheek, his thumb sweeping away my tears.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice sounding more concerned for me than ever before, not that that was saying much. I just shook my head, looking away, not wanting him to see me this way. "Cana, tell me." He demanded.

"Why, in the year you've been doing this to me, why is it _now_ when you decide to act like you actually care, once I've given up on you?!" my voice wavered the louder it got, until at the end I was crying and yelling and probably sounded crazy. Laxus sighed and let me go, turning away from me and I felt like all those shattered pieces of my heart had just gotten ripped to shreds. I was surprised the stupid organ was even working anymore.

He walked towards the door and as a sob escaped my throat unwanted, I watched in surprise as he sat on the bed instead of walking out the door. He sat there in silence as I tried to stop my crying and tried to cut off the quiet sobs.

"I owe you an apology," he finally said in a quiet, gruff voice.

"Wh-what?" I hiccupped. Of all the things I expected him to say, that was not it.

"Before I was rightly kicked out of the guild, I treated you in a way you should never have been treated. I didn't realize, stupidly, how important you were to me until you were no longer around." His voice was so quiet I barely heard him. I didn't say anything, unsure of what to say. After a minute he got up and walked towards the door. "Sorry Cana," he said as he turned the door knob.

"Wait," I said quickly, walking toward him slowly. He turned, his hand still on the door knob, watching me as I stopped in front of him. "You… I'm important to you?" I asked, unable to meet his eyes, unsure if this was just a way to scheme his way into my pants. But he had never needed to before, why would he now. I watched as his hand came up to gently cup my cheek and bring my face up so I was looking at him.

"Very." His eyes stared into mine with a sincerity I couldn't doubt. "I did a lot of stupid things back then," he said quietly, a smaller version of his usual smirk appearing on his face. I couldn't help but blush at that, even though I hadn't blushed at something Laxus said to me since the first time we were together.

I slowly got on my tip toes and for the very first time,_ I_ kissed _him_. It wasn't rushed like we would kiss before, it was slow and sweet and still ignited a heat in my body that had my arms wrapping around his neck to deepen the kiss. He let go of the door knob to wrap an arm around my waist and his other hand went to the back of my head, holding me still.

Soon, clothes were shed and bare skin touched bare skin. I gasped and panted as he showed me just how much he had missed me with his hands and mouth, my body putty in his hands. As he brought me over the edge for the first time that night he entered me, prolonging my orgasm. As he started to move, he set a slow rhythm that had me clinging to him, his face buried in my neck. I could feel his hot pants on my sweat-slick neck, my hips moving to match his pace. I couldn't help but marvel at this Laxus, the one I had never seen before. The vulnerable, loving Laxus. That night, we made love, and any resistance I had put up against him crumbled away. That night, I fell completely in love with him and had no defenses to him anymore.

As we reached our peaks, clinging desperately to each other, I came with his name on my lips, not bothering to try and muffle it. Not anymore. And as he growled out my name into the skin of my shoulder, I couldn't have been more stated than that night.

We lay there, exhausted and trying to regain our breath, a part of me waited for him to roll over and get dressed and leave again. And as he rolled over, he took me with him, laying me over him, my head pillowed on his chest.

"You're staying?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, sounding as though he was already falling asleep.

"That's all I've ever wanted," I said, my heart soaring when his arm tightened gently around my waist and tugged the blanket around us.

* * *

Wow. This is by far the smuttiest Fic I've written so far. Like, usually it's just sexy fun time. So tell me what you think of it ^.^


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